LiveLoveLaughRA

Posts Tagged ‘Rheumatology

So yesterday was a particully…annoying day. Annoying because there was so much going on, my body and mind could not get on the same page causing me to pretty much to throw the entire day out. Well, I wish I could have at least. I had an anxious feeling all day, it was Monday, the start of the week…full-time school, full time work, fathers day cards and gifts to get (during my lunch break? because I have no free time from 7:30am-11pm), getting gas (love that Jersey pumps it for you by LAW), scheduling time to see the place we plan to have our wedding at (not to mention our families nagging us about not spending enough time with them, when the next time we will visit CT is, and a hundred other questions because you know we are obviously on vacation out here and don’t work or go to school), not being able to take a second to breathe or engage in any interpersonal relationship leading my friends and co-workers to think I’m just a standoff-ish B (which has been a common theme my whole life).

I know, it’s technically my fault right? I signed up for full-time summer classes (in hopes that I would finish my degree early). I take the responsibility for getting all gifts no matter the occasion, I work full-time because I like to buy things (the health insurance coverage is just an added bonus, right?), I choose to start planning our wedding (that we’ve waited over 5 years for because our families are dysfunctional and we don’t live very close to them) during the most stressful time of my academic/working life so far. And I just can’t take 5 mins out of my day to sit and talk with a co-worker about how rough her day has been because I have four mid-term papers due at once, and actual work to be done while at my job (because the phone calls keep coming, the emails don’t stop and the demands just keep growing because I don’t have time to complain, therefore people think I’m handling it all just fine)! Of course getting gas is just an annoyance on its own, I mean there is no convenient location for me to go and when I’m stuck in traffic, the 5 mins I allotted myself for the task is gone which gives me anxiety in its own.

Hey…its Tuesday already. I made it past Monday (again). Tomorrow is Wednesday. One day at a time.  I keep telling myself to breathe while I’m driving or rushing from one class assignment to the next. I try to repeat over and over to take it one day at a time. I made it thus far right? I know tomorrow is not guaranteed and life is short.

The constant pain I am in reminds me of that, as well as the loss of friends, opportunities and experiences. I try not to dwell on this but sometimes I am just caught, maybe by a song, a comment or a smell. I get teary-eyed, I cry, I weep, I scream out loud.

And then, the moment passes and I am on to the next moment that needs my attention.

In reading other blogs written by those effected by RA, I see a common theme. We all pick ourselves up, sometimes with and sometimes without the help of others, and we continue on with our lives. There are people depending on us, even if it is a “cyber-friend” or pet. When one day feels like it is sucking everything out of you and your body and mind aren’t functioning together, remember tomorrow is a new day with the possibility of good and bad things happening.

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So I had my monthly Orencia infusion yesterday at the hospital. Before that was work from 8am-1:30pm then I had an appointment with my rheumatologist at the hospital. I hadn’t seen her since December! Not because I didn’t really need too but I seriously can’t believe how over 6 months flew by. Anyways, this particular was great! It was a very hot and humid day in the city (over 100 degrees at one point) but I loved it! I love all things summer…well except sunburns, pesky insects and sand being stuck on me, but other than that I think I would love to live in a year-round warmer climate.

On to the rheumi-appt: She said my progress is great, I am really taking to the Orencia. Of course when I mentioned that I have been changing my food intake, she wasn’t super interested in it, but I have learned to accept that medicine doctors are not huge fans of the natural approach. Whatever, I see results so I’ll keep doing it.

I told her that I plan on getting married next year and would like to start “thinking” about starting a family. I told my fiance that this visit I would ask so I am glad I went through with it. I was scared of a negative answer. But that turned out to be the opposite. She was thrilled! She said she can recommend Ob’s at NYU Hospital that she has worked with in the past and she really thinks I will do great! She told me she’ll ask around also specifically with Orencia although I basically know that there is no clear research out there. It will help hearing it from her and her colleagues.

She did end up putting me on Celebrex for a little bit to help with my constant neck and back pain and likes that I was doing yoga and light jogging and walking. I say was because I am currently in the summer school from hell and have no time to eat let alone exercise. My body misses it soooo much though. I will be back in full swing come the fall.  

I called my fiance right after the appointment before I headed upstairs to the infusion unit and he was so excited and happy to hear the news. We don’t get a lot of positivity around us so this was a nice boost.

Of course after I had my infusion until 4:30pm and raced to class from 6p-9m in on the opposite side of the city! Traffic gods were with me and I made it with time to spare to grab some fruit. It was Thursday and I just about made it through the week. Bronx Zoo with some Connecticut friends on Sunday?? I hope so! Enjoy your weekends everyone!!


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