LiveLoveLaughRA

Archive for the ‘pregnancy’ Category

Wow it’s been awhile. I feel like time moves so fast but seems so slow at the same time. This semester is coming to an end and fast approaching as with all Fall semesters are the many finals to study for, papers to write, holidays to consider, shopping for gifts, planning travel, actually traveling and trying to please family and friends without looking ungrateful, rude and selfish. I’m try to be none of those things but this darn RA sneaks up on me and sometimes just gets the best of me.
Well anyways, the whirlwind of this time of year makes me really feel what I have up against me…RA/fibro/cfs/etc. I am counting down the days until this semester is over leaving me with (I hope) only one semester left (yay!). However last week I saw a dermatologist and was told I have the “best” type of skin cancer (pending the biopsy results coming any day now). This news comes while sitting in a crowded, stuffy Drs office after working all day and dealing with a terribly busy day at work and learning (at that very same moment) that a good friend just miscarried that morning. She was so excited, her first pregnancy! I was excited for her and her husband an even felt myself getting a little “baby-fever” as well. That day was draining. There were so many other details I won’t bore you with or care to relive. Have you ever had one of those days…no, one of those weeks everything seems to work against you? That was last week for me. But thanksgiving was apart of that week bringing some family and friends together making me pull myself out of that slump and push forward. As I am seemingly reminded of often, life waits for no one, no matter how fast or slow it seems to go by.

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Almost half way through this full-time summer semester! Word to the wise…not really a smart idea, especially if you work full-time (or at all) and live with a chronic illness. I try not to let myself stop and ask questions…like can I make it though this week or month or ten weeks of classes? Am I crazy? Well obviously there is a little crazy in us all.

I just want to be finished (hopefully May 2012). I hate that I contemplate regularly if pursuing my masters degree was worth it (both in time and money). I mean, when I started (Fall 2009) I wasn’t planning a wedding or on having a family. I just figured it would be me and my fiance (husband at some point) and we would work and go about our daily lives. For some reason I just ruled out having children for the past 10+ years. I like babies. I like kids. I just never thought I would be healthy enough to be pregnant and take care of one myself.

But as the time has passed…I think I caught “baby fever.” Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel stronger or healthier. But I feel some want for “normalcy.” Yeah yeah. Is there really such a thing?? I’ve already missed out on so much (long-lasting friendships because I just can’t keep up, parties, travel, extra cash that now gets spent of co-pays and physical therapy) and I (with my fiance’s support) want a family of my own.

And why can’t I? I don’t even know if I can have children. I mean, I’ve spoken to my Rhuematologist and she said I should have no trouble with meds and will recommend a good OB…but I have that fear that maybe I can’t even get pregnant (I’ve never tried) because I have been on so many different kinds of medications since I was 3 years old. There really aren’t any studies on the effects the these types of meds have on the growing child, adolescent and young adult.

I am all for the holistic route and am easing myself into it once again, but I didn’t have that choice when I was younger. My parents and I just needed me to be well enough to go to school and have as “normal” a childhood. What’s done is done and now I need to look to my future. I am sure that I can have an impact positively on it. I’ve cut out gluten and have already noticed good things in my GI tract and (I think) my joints. I am jumping a little ahead of my self (maybe) as I don’t plan on even trying to get pregnant until at least another year or two. But…there is no harm in planning I guess.

I hope to gain more enlightenment on this subject as there is just not a whole lot of information out there (there has got to be a lot of mother’s with chronic illnesses right?). I will post some links that I have found to be useful in case any of you are wondering the same.

Again, there is nothing I can do but stay positive and educate myself. I have the support of an amazing man, a crazy family and a strong light inside me. If something goes “wrong” I (hope) I know I can find my way.

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So I had my monthly Orencia infusion yesterday at the hospital. Before that was work from 8am-1:30pm then I had an appointment with my rheumatologist at the hospital. I hadn’t seen her since December! Not because I didn’t really need too but I seriously can’t believe how over 6 months flew by. Anyways, this particular was great! It was a very hot and humid day in the city (over 100 degrees at one point) but I loved it! I love all things summer…well except sunburns, pesky insects and sand being stuck on me, but other than that I think I would love to live in a year-round warmer climate.

On to the rheumi-appt: She said my progress is great, I am really taking to the Orencia. Of course when I mentioned that I have been changing my food intake, she wasn’t super interested in it, but I have learned to accept that medicine doctors are not huge fans of the natural approach. Whatever, I see results so I’ll keep doing it.

I told her that I plan on getting married next year and would like to start “thinking” about starting a family. I told my fiance that this visit I would ask so I am glad I went through with it. I was scared of a negative answer. But that turned out to be the opposite. She was thrilled! She said she can recommend Ob’s at NYU Hospital that she has worked with in the past and she really thinks I will do great! She told me she’ll ask around also specifically with Orencia although I basically know that there is no clear research out there. It will help hearing it from her and her colleagues.

She did end up putting me on Celebrex for a little bit to help with my constant neck and back pain and likes that I was doing yoga and light jogging and walking. I say was because I am currently in the summer school from hell and have no time to eat let alone exercise. My body misses it soooo much though. I will be back in full swing come the fall.  

I called my fiance right after the appointment before I headed upstairs to the infusion unit and he was so excited and happy to hear the news. We don’t get a lot of positivity around us so this was a nice boost.

Of course after I had my infusion until 4:30pm and raced to class from 6p-9m in on the opposite side of the city! Traffic gods were with me and I made it with time to spare to grab some fruit. It was Thursday and I just about made it through the week. Bronx Zoo with some Connecticut friends on Sunday?? I hope so! Enjoy your weekends everyone!!


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